Short and Sweet... nothing like me

Ok so I know that my blog yesterday was overwhelming... far too long and so many links. I went a little blog happy. As restitution, this blog with be short and sweet which is nothing like me...



well I am short but I'm not that sweet. I'm direct and to the point and while I care deeply for humankind (I always care about the underdog and I couldn't make fun of someone for something they can't control), I can't help but comment on what I see and/or think (i.e. I can and will make fun of something that you can control)



Case in point... last night, I had my first class. There were 40 people there. Mainly couples, ok exaggerating, about 50% couples, 30% single/blood related and 20% in a relationship but there other half wasn't there. I was in the 20% and I was ok with that because RJ and I discussed it in advance, he paid for the class and we talk about it when I get home. However there was one instance where I wished he was there so I could say something just above a whisper in hopes that the offender would hear and apply some deoderant or move seats....

"Man, somebody is sweating whatever they ate for dinner tonight!"

Ugh! but I had no one to say it too. So instead I investigated. Was it the breath of the guy next to me? Don't think so. Was it the well dressed woman across from me? No she is in retail at Saks and dresses impecably. Was it the average looking girl behind me? Nothing against average girls.. I'm pretty average. Then it happened... the potential smelly breath guy knows the average girl and he says

"Hey, we went to BGood for dinner. What did you guys do?" note: BGood is a healthier version of fast food

She replies "We went to fgdguyhfmg (incomprehensable) King"



That is it. My face lit up. You are the smelly culprit and you are sweating that ethnic grub that you ate. Nothing against ethnic grub.. I love thai, asian, italian, mexican. I don't care if you like the bizzare foods along with AZ... but consider your surroundings when you eat certain foods; we were in a TINY room. She reeked all class. I couldn't turn in her direction (see earlier post on my sensitive nose) UNTIL...

I contributed in class. Hello, it costs $300 and its an intellectual class and I had a well researched, valid question. And that smelly bitch shakes her head at my question as if it was the dumbest thing ever. Oooh how my head snapped in her direction as I caught the little shake in my peripheral view. And I breathed in and thought



'F you.. your pores reek of something unholy. I mean people ask stupid questions in these classes and I hold judgement bc its a religious class and I'm trying to be good while here... you would think she could hold her snooty attitude until class was over. Not to mention, it was a valid question about the temple in Jerusaleum and the Messianic Age... well thought out.'



But since RJ wasn't there and I couldn't say anything, I gave her the nice smile that says I will f**k your shit up if you judge me again. And I swear, I saw her try to stop her pores from leaking any more smelliness and she cowered just a little.



Thats right... you better bow down. I will end you. At some point, you will say something, contribute to class and in the most sincere seeming way, I will make a different point even if I don't agree with it just to put you in your place and make you recognize.



Go enjoy stinking up your clothes and having everyone on the T look around til they realize its YOU who smells like a backed up garbage disposal in a highschool cooking class after Around the World day

Three strikes, you're out

So who knew the episode?

You probably know it as the Three Strikes episode based on this exchange between Penny & Sheldon after she eats an onion ring and sits in his seat, which he tells her was her 3rd strike:

Sheldon: "It's a sports metaphor."

Penny: "A sports metaphor?"

Sheldon: "Yes, baseball."

So this got me to thinking... what would be 3 biggest offenses someone could do to me to be ousted from my inner circle? would i agree with Sheldon's first strike related to Penny sending him junk emails (forwards)? to be honest, I have 3 email addresses plus the blog. I give one email to my PopPop to which he sends forwards and jokes. I give one for bills, subscriptions, registrations, friends and then my work email. So this isn't a huge problem for me, so no that strike didn't make it for me. Do I care about a particular seat? Not really but to be honest, no one would take my seat. Where Sheldon is a wimpy guy, I'm a very direct gal and typically people know what I want and give it to me... RJ would say its easier than listening to me although he challenges me quite often!

Here are some things that I would call strikes:

- Monolpolizing a conference call with chit chat or complaining. I can whine with the best of them but we have an agenda to get through. As I said to someone the other day, can she put her grown up pants on and get it done already

- Being passive aggressive. If you have a problem with me; professionally or personally, "suit up" and tell me already. If you can't then my advice is to go find the person who is holding your balls, beg for them to be returned and call me when they are reattached and you're ready to deal.

- Cab drivers who feel the need to chat with me my entire ride (thanks to sassytwosocks for her tweet that reminded me of this annoying bullshit). Also, cab drivers who say they accept ccs and then their piece of shit machines don't work and I'm left scrambling for an atm and trying to make my flight!

- Skinny bitches who claim they don't exercise, eat whatever they want, don't throw up but they are almost 30 or older. Stop f'n lying; metabolism slows down. Either your idea of eating whatever you want is different than the average person, you do work out or you puke and you know it. I especially love when said bitches have those mouths that just shout, I puke!

- People who say they don't watch tv and look down on those who do... listen, I like books.. actually I love reading. And I like hanging with my friends but sometimes there is nothing better than mindless time in front of the boob tube. Not to mention there is some great tv our there in addition to the mind numbing television.

I mean if you have a sense of humor and you've never enjoyed The Big Bang Theory or How I met your Mother

Or you like food and you've never seen Guy Fieri Triple D & Anthony Bourdain No Reservations.. I'm seriously considering a whole post on suggestions for Triple D (everyone loves greasy or comfort food or both at least once in their adult life)

Or you like mystery and staring at my TV husband check out Fringe

note he is not my tv husband when he does the klingon thing with his forehead

Or you like outdoorsy stuff and learning, check out Mark & Olly

Oh and if you pay for premium channels like me, then you have to

love Entourage, Big Love, Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I'm even a little into the United States of Tara

Or hell if you like making fun of idiots, you need to check out Property Virgins (this couple was especially irritating!) or My First Place (they get a room done as a prize for being idiots; come on! this is encouraging these morons).... these people are so dumb that they make RJ angry most of the time

**Ok point made, maybe I need a separate post just to tell you the shows I like and why. Back to the strikes -->

- People who judge... listen up aholes; you haven't walked in my shoes... you want to make fun for something silly I did or said, one of my many falls or embarassing moment; go ahead. But don't judge me or anyone else for that matter. "First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you don't know me"

* Anyone know that quote? If so, you know my guilty tv pleasure

- Incompetent Baggers

- People who expect to be applauded for just showing up... ooh did you wipe your own ass today too... see the above comment about wearing your big girl pants.. in these people's cases, I don't care if they want the reassurance so they wear depends.. I'm not going to coddle you

Whoa... way more than 3. I could have kept going. But I won't. I have to get back to the grind. Feel free to comment with your own strikes, I'd love to hear them and they give me inspiration for my own tirades! And I overloaded you with links, I'll cut that down next time... I went a little nuts!

btw, the actual episode title is "The panty pinata polarization"

And if you were wondering, there is no kryptonite for THE Queen of Drama Queens and if there were, it definitely wouldn't be calling my mommy on me

Tidbit Numero Uno

Ok as promised, I am creating my first Tidbit blog... a tidbit o' creativity... a tidbit o' entertainment... a tidbit o' WTF.... at a minimum it will entertain just me... at a middle ground it will make you smile and ponder the tidbit awhile... at a maximum my tidbits will earn me national recognition and a regular spot on the Chelsea Handler roundtable....

And yes that was my tidbits not my tatas for you dirty minded folks who read between the letters rather than the lines, that will earn me my 15 minutes of fame.

and we're off...

Last night RJ and I met the boxer and her Mighty Duck for drinks, apps and trivia. There was a guy at the bar who came over to me after one of the questions and asked if we knew the answer to the question and I said that we didn't but we'd come up with something creative. Well the guy leans in and whispers in my ear "Scrimshaw" (10 pts to the person who comments jeopardy style what the question could have been) and I say thanks, write it down and go to turn it in. When I return, the guy is having a very animated discussion with RJ about the next question (3 bones in the arm) and I'm hoping RJ won't break his for whispering so seductively in my ear earlier (kidding, it wasn't seductive but every once in awhile, I like to channel my inner JD and daydream how the situation could play out). Ok so the guy eventually goes back to the bar and Boxer says "What was up with that dude? He's married (sidebar, I didn't even look for the ring and that don't mean he wasn't all over DQs ass, alright!) and he's at the bar alone and desperate to play trivia with us."

Now a small part of me that is trying to be a nicer person said "maybe he is new here" but boxer and even RJ were like "why not bring your wife". Mighty Duck was rather quiet on the topic but to his credit, the bruins were on tv and if you haven't guessed, hockey is kind of his thing. So my question is....

What type of married guy goes to a bar by himself on a Sunday night and why? No he wasn't from out of town travelling on business
Maybe his wife is a weirdo who throws oscar parties where they do brackets for the winners and he has no friends (he seemed normal but then again so did the steven king look alike sitting behind RJ but then his crazy eyes started freaking me out)

So what do you think?

btw, no prize for us; we came in 4th. speaking of the Oscars and my latest tweet on twitter- I have fallen in love with Ashton Kutcher through his endearing tweets on twitter and by affiliation with his unfairly gorgeous wife Demi for her equal tweeting. And Ashton posted from their party like a regular old joe and I just dig that. I have forgiven Ashton for that hideous movie where he married Britney Murphy and he is welcome to tweet with me any day.

Again with the dirty minds.. tweet = instant message on twitter

Keep those dirty minds fresh for tomorrow's tidbit and btw if tweet meant anything but instant message, I'd be telling Joshua Jackson tweet me baby

how difficult is your F*N job?

Seriously, WTF! I go grocery shopping every week just like your average american. I don't use reusable grocery bags yet.. I know, I know! Can you hold your judgement and just let me vent for a bit? I do use a re-usable bag for my trips to the library and I pass on bags when making small purchases at CVS etc and I reuse my plastic grocery bags as trash bags rather than buy trash bags... so see I'm not so bad.

Now can we get back to the people who are bad? The idiots who bag groceries. What the F happened to the teens in this world? I have had a job since I was 12... yes 12! And I've been doing chores (serious chores, the laundry for the entire family) since 7 (yes 2nd grade people, I traipsed down to the basement and washed and folded the entire family's laundry- to this day, I hate folding! I'm scarred). So what happened? Its not hard to bag groceries. As a child, I bagged the groceries for my mom when we shopped (there were no dedicated baggers then). And it was common sense... Common sense people! So are we not teaching common sense in school? Are we too busy prepping for standardized tests that we aren't teaching basic skills that can be applied to all kinds of situations INCLUDING your afterschool job bagging groceries???

Every week, I dread the checkout line. RJ and I typically go grocery shopping together and at first, he thought I was too hard on the baggers. Don't worry- I don't say anything to them, I wait until we pass through the door to the fresh air and then my rant begins. Although, this week, I almost HAD to say something. And in the past few weeks, RJ has come to my side of the fence on the great "Are these baggers F'N morons?" debate.

And based on google search results, I'm guessing either many of you agree with me OR the baggers are actually trying to improve. HA- sha right! It is not the baggers trying to improve... kids these days, hell college graduates these days are not looking to self improve, they want the answer handed to them... a trophy awarded just for showing up. Well listen up dumbasses; that is not how the world works. I'm gonna give you a trophy alright, a trophy of my middle finger that I'll shove up your butt for you. Ugh!!!!! Sorry, so back to google.. the google search bar auto completes "how to bag groceries" and "how to bag groceries properly"- there are 634,000 and 277,000 results respectively. I'm contemplating creating my own "Grocery Bagging for Dumbasses who will never progress past bagger let alone HS" but to be more efficient, I might take the best of the search results, print them out and just start leaving them near the bagging area of the check out lanes.

I'm gonna lose it! One of the search results is a powerpoint presentation for a gaming simulation to teach people to bag groceries properly. Great lets sit the future of our obese country in front of a computer screen to learn something so freaking basic. Something they could learn by DOING and receiving feedback from a qualified manager... that is a post for another day.

I mean how freaking difficult is it to bag boxes together... to keep eggs safe from breaking.... to keep bread on the top NOT the bottom of bags. And you want to know what makes this even more pathetic?? I ORGANIZE my groceries on the checkout belt in ORDER of bagging. I hold bread, eggs, soft veggies/fruit at the far end of the belt and then I organize the boxes, jars, cans, soda in the EXACT order of how they SHOULD be bagged. And then I watch. And regardless of my streamlined efforts, obtained through years of experience and honing of my organization on the belt... I mean a bystander who has NEVER grocery shopped before might think I have OCD but anyone who has grocery shopped regularly would smile inside and give a little positive mojo my way, hoping my efforts pay off. Especially if they are behind me in line because if it works for me then there is hope for them. HOPE not a guarantee because the bagger could switch between customers or just go back to their lazy ass ways.

Ok so my groceries are organized on the belt. All the bagger needs to do is put them in the bags in the ORDER in which they come off the belt. But NO. This week RJ watched the bagger... I looked away in hopes that I wouldn't jinx it and because I was so close to yelling out WTF- step away I'll bag my own groceries. And what did RJ see? The bagger put the frozen boxes together, yes a small triumph for shoppers everywhere. But then she puts bags of craisins in the same bag.. ok no big deal with the bag doesn't break, we are ok. But then there are more frozen foods coming down the belt and the bagger looks lost. The bagger takes out boxes from the frozen box and craisin bag and replaces the box with the new frozen box... this in and out swap continues for 2 minutes. Thank goodness I was not watching. Then she puts cleaning products in with fruit, RJ reaches in and seamlessly corrects this mishap. I hear all of this and more after the fact as we walk out of the store and I see bread under the cereal boxes and frozen peas. I huff, reach in, take the bread out, try to reshape it and shake my head... I look at RJ with my WTF face and he says "Don't even F***ing get me started!"

FYI- RJ does NOT swear.

I wait a few minutes and ask him what happened.. that is how I learn of what he saw and why I decide to find these sites to print for my next trip to the grocery store. Maybe I can offer a free training class!

This is the best one: 7 quick steps that are so Common Sense that it is a sad, sad day for the world that I'll need to actually print this and tape it to baggers stations. Is this a worldwide problem or a US epidemic of lacking intelligence?

Oh my gosh, there is hope.. 3 months ago, someone looked to self improve through yahoo answers

And in wisconsin in 2008 they held a best bagger contest with pdf for rules and tips. Another pdf recommended you size up your customer to ensure bags are not too heavy which might improve your chances of getting a tip.

A TIP... A TIP...I'm not tipping you for doing your F'N job.... do we need to revisit the freaking trophy? pull it out your ass, look at it, say "oh yeah, I forgot she covered this already", stick it back in there and go back to your daily life.

Coming Soon: Tidbits

Ok so I know I have not been a consistent blogger and this fact along with my blog being anonymous along with only my bff knowing it is hurting my chances of obtaining followers and I've always wanted followers... I am a very charismatic public speaker which makes up for my inability to be humble and this charisma really could start a cult with the largest following in history... and don't worry, I'd never make it a suicide cult- I'm afraid of death - if anything, I'd find a way so grape koolaid made us live forever.

Sorry, I got off topic again. Anywho, I decided to try to be a more consistent blogger to see if that helps increase my followers (ok this idea of you pledging allegiance to me as your Queen might scare you away as well so how about I'll say audience from now on.. look I'm negotiating and typically the queen does NOT negotiate)...

Ok so to increase my audience, I'm starting Tidbits... I will post a Tidbit or 2 each weekday and that will give you something to muse about all day and may potentially cause unexpected laughing to yourself or at a minimum smirking as you continue to think about these tidbits throughout the day. Perhaps these tidbits will even entice (see still trying, I wanted to say convince or force) you to post a comment in response to the blog.

At a minimum, the tidbit will get me posting more regularly and in a few less words. I'd say this could help my audience but I don't want dumbasses who think reading is a chore as part of my kingdom- instead of no shoes no service, my kingdom's walls will be plastered with things like "If you can't read big words, we will excommunicate you (and I'm not talking church here)" and I'll have guards at the wall watching people and if they take too long to sound out words in their head or look lost or move their lips as they read... they are outta here! Ohh I got side tracked again, regardless.... be on the lookout for tidbits, coming soon direct to your laptop for your weekday enjoyment.

Here are some images that make me think of the tidbits of enjoyment that I'll be providing to you, every weekday

Can you guess the movie?

Can you guess the episode?

What does this look like to you?

Honestly, this is the best quote ever and if you can't read that fine print then drool until its tidbit time!

I need my own little nuggest... not sure Chewy's role on the show anymore and I have a former friend who was petrified of those who are vertically challenged, maybe Chewy, the Rolloffs and the whole Lollipop gang could pay her a visit.... mwahahaha

PS If you are a true member of the blog audience then you know that last bit was my evil laugh... maybe instead of an evil laugh I'll use this going forward, it sure scares the bejeebs out of me

Women actually propose?

Ok so my last post title, "He said Yes!" got me thinking... do women actually propose? I've seen it on tv shows. I've read about it in magazines. My coworker teases me that its ok to do it. But I would never do it.

Now don't get all pissy at me. Remember I'm someone who has a lot of opinions and I share them freely. But I respect your right to have opinions too.

Foreshadow: This will definitely end up a future post.

I'll tease and make fun to support my opinion but I can take the return teasing so you can support your opinion - bring it on! Interestingly enough, I actually said I love you to RJ first. And I was pissed at myself for doing it. It slipped. I had wanted to say it for awhile and we had been dating exclusively for a year. And then of course after it slipped, I immediately yelled Don't say it back! Because of course then I'd always wonder if he meant it. He said it a short time later and more importantly he shows it and proves it on a very regular basis. But for a little while after saying it first, I was mad at myself because women are insecure creatures and this act of going out on a limb could result in always wondering. Lucky for me, RJ is a great bf and he truly loves me and shows me so I don't need to wonder.

In the meantime, enjoy the images of women proposing and tell me, would you do it?

Seriously, the sister of the esurance chick would not propose? Especially not the sister who has money and designer labels!

Maybe this chick would propose but look at her bf, all aloof. yeah ok, this is not the guy or the way to propose. this dude is thinking about it. like weighing the probability as to whether he could meet someone hotter. The sign should say "Get lost, loser!"

I just don't think... no I know that I would not propose... its not for me. I want a guy to do it because he loves me enough to want to, not because he feels obligated or I push him. I loved that part of He's just not that into you (SPOILER ALERT- don't go past the picture)

when Ben Affleck proposed to Jennifer Aniston.. even though it was so obvious that even RJ & Charlie could see it coming (yes we dragged them.. well actually we dragged RJ but Charlie wanted to see it), it was just exactly what a proposal should be... simple, honest, heartfelt - something to build on. Not a cheesy restaurant proposal that is fit for a 22-26 year old bc thats what the movies taught you. Real love, real life proposals are simple and meaningful not overdone - overdone is like a man driving a ferari bc his manly package can't deliver the way the car does... a true love story doesn't need the big showy proposal, at least not in my fairy tale.

PS Examples of RJ showing me he loves me without having to say it:

- Waiting in the hospital for 3 hours while I had an exploratory procedure even though the nurse told him he could go home and they would call him (note we live 5 mins from this hospital)

- Bringing me candy when he returns from travelling

- Sharing his prized gummy bears with me even after I already finished my own candy and did not share

- Decorating christmas cookies with me and putting on a christmas cd even though its not his thing

- Buying and picking up pizza for my bff and I without a complaint

- Putting up with my passenger seat comments

- Busting a move in the car with me and singing along with my tone deaf self

There is way more but I don't want to make anyone vindictive jealous so I'll space these out.

He said yes!!

No I did not propose to RJ. My friend CBrown (not chris, I wouldn't be friends with an alleged woman beater; I'm talking about C to H to A to R to L to I to E... what's that spell?

CHARLIE

And not O'Connell either- poor guy got the short end in that family. He probably grew up thinking chunky Jerry would get the acting but he would get the looks. Not so much C-dawg.

Sorry, I got distracted. Ok so back to my friend Charlie.... its really a code name of course. Everyone in my blog gets a code name. My friends don't even know about the blog... well bff does (come on that means my best friend forever) but no one else. So far in the blog we have:

RJ (sometimes BF) - my boyfriend and no those aren't his initials

BFF - she is the best and we are such good friends that I can call her out for trying to take the best 2 slices of the remaining 4 cheese pizza slices.

S1 - My middle sister (I'm the oldest)

Sis 2 - My youngest sister

my friend - she needs a codename so I'm working on it... maybe Rocky because we box together

Charlie - My guy friend who is just too nice sometimes and occassionally lets work and exes walk all over him. But I'm here to remind him that he deserves better so that brings us back to He Said YES!

To vacation! We are going. California isn't just for happy cows anymore... its now for RJ, BFF, Charlie and I to rock out and make some kick ass memories.

Truth be told... bff and RJ were convinced that I could get Charlie to say yes and I am quite a good debater and I typically always get my way... if you made me give a percentage I'd say 90% of the time I end up getting my way and the other 10% I didn't really care but made you think I do so you'd feel better giving in 90% of the time... mwhahaha (thats my evil blog laugh!)

PS As for vaca, I will photograph and video journal it all... it will be so cool to watch in 30 years!

Work as a mistress sucks, because she is all TAKE and no give. Treat it more like a trophy wife.... ask for forgiveness not permission

I have this friend... we'll call him Charlie. Charlie is a good friend, maybe my best guy friend. And Charlie is a nice guy. But Charlie has a problem..... Charlie has stopped living or as RJ says

"would be better if Charlie stopped being a little girl and just went. He’ll regret not going but I can tell you what he is thinking, it’s easier to just say no to the vacation, that way his life is more streamlined and easier (also known as boring). "

So what caused this insightful comment?


Well RJ, my bff and I are planning a fab vacation for my bff and my 30th bdays. We tossed around a lot of ideas and decided on one that includes lots of drinking, walking and eating. And the location is somewhere that Charlie has always wanted to go to... so we invite Charlie.

First Charlie sounds so excited but not even 24 hours later, after I have planned and priced the entire vacation; yes I'm that good!; Charlie is backing out.


Is Charlie backing out because he has started to date someone and thinks she might get upset?

No. (NOTE: they are barely dating and its too early to invite her and its just friends plus RJ said he's share a room with Charlie whily bff and I share a separate room, so this wouldn't be an excuse anyway)



Is Charlie backing out because he is worried about his crush on my bff?

No. (Again, see note above, no excuse either way)



Is Charlie backing out because of a set work deadline?

No.

So WHY is Charlie backing out?

Because there is a CHANCE that his major deal MAY have a deadline during 3 weeks that our trip falls into the beginning of....



Anyone else flabergasted. Anyone else thinking what I said to him which is as follows and included more than a few WTFs



I started off nice "you cannot let work run everything in your life. Half the time you tell me you want to quit. you could come with us if you don't work there"



I started going with the cliches "no one's tombstone says i wish i worked more. you've given everything for work for almost a decade. you can't get a measly week"

I started getting forceful "can you imagine if you pass up this vacation and that deadline doesn't become a reality? besides they could move the deadline or cover for you"

then I got angry "it happens all the time just not to you because they know you'll take their sh*t."

then I tried nicer "And I want you to stick up for yourself for once and put yourself first, you have always wanted to go on this vacation. the opportunity is here. all you have to do is pay for yourself, the planning will be taken care of. If you look back on this in 10 years, will you regret not going?"

then I made my last point... which ended up my second to last point "my last point..... you will regret this. at some point, you have to come before work. if you quit tomorrow, they would still get through the deadline so why can't you go on vaca. you have seen it yourself, everyone is replaceable. the replacement may not be as great but it will get done. do you really want your career to be at a place that consistently has NO VACA weeks during the calendar and in this case its a 3 week span without a set deadline.. come on! if you tell your boss that its important n he can't back you up, is that someone you want to continue to kill yourself for?"

Then I made my last ditch effort and pulled out all the stops

"It is my opinion that you will regret missing this vacation and you need to take it. you deserve to take it. and you are being an idiot if you let work stand in your way. Work as a mistress sucks, because she is all TAKE and no give. Treat it more like a trophy wife.... ask for forgiveness not permission, its easier to get- book the damn trip."

Update: I call him Charlie as in Brown... what do you think happened?

ike a cut from childhood that leaves a scar... the pain goes away but that part of your skin is never the same again.

So taking my own advice... here are 10 things about me that are true and I didn't reread it or rewrite it so I apologize in advance for any grammer or spelling issues but not for the honesty.


This is me, accept me for who I am... it took me years to do that but I do now!

1. 100 calorie bags of kettlecorn popcorn has been my saving grace since joining ww

2. I think the fact that the oldest Duggar son married without even kissing is a travesty. I will probably have posts dedicated to this in the future and the conversation that RJ and I had while watching the wedding special, yes we watched it.

3. I think growing up is so scary because its like you are suppose to stop dreaming. Stop dreaming of what you want to be, who you want to date, marry etc. So every now and then to fight it, I still daydream about a different life and I think thats ok. It frequently involves meeting Kenny Chesney or Bradley Cooper or someone else and running off... or being incredibly wealthy and being able to stay home to raise my children.

4. I sometimes wonder if my Dad and I will ever repair our relationship and it makes me so mad at him that he ever let it break in the first place. When your dad dissapoints you, it makes it hard to believe in anything. You look up to your dad... he is the kind of man who can do no wrong. I know that doesn't exist in reality but I wanted my dad to stay like that. My Dad was always to me like Bruce Willis in the scene in Armeggedon when he saves the world to give his daughter happiness. Then life happened, divorce occurred, your Dad doesn't seem to be the superhero you thought he was and it makes you say... if my Dad can dissapoint me and hurt me like this, will any guy ever not hurt me? I mean this was the man who picked me up from elementary school when my halloween costume started falling apart (I was a mummy) and didn't complain about it but rather took me to lunch and to hang out at his work. Now he was a jerk and that sucks. Eventually you realize your Dad was probably hurting too but the break in the relationship is like a cut from childhood that leaves a scar... the pain goes away but that part of your skin is never the same again.

5. I think if my parents had not gotten divorced, my mom and I wouldn't be as close.

6. I believe in the right to choose. I could never vote for a presidential candidate (and I haven't) who could empower the Supreme Court to overrule this right. I think its a very difficult decision and until we walk in someone else's shoes, we can't make that decision for them. I lost all faith in my childhood church when they put up a black tombstone and started teaching my 1st grade class (I was teaching) to pray that mommy's don't hurt their babies. There's a line and the church crossed it.

7. I was surprised to hear that my sister who had a child in her teens has never smoked pot... I have. But no other drugs and I didn't do it very often... highschool a few times and right after college like twice.

8. I have always considered myself the perfect daughter/granddaughter/neice. I'm not allowed to screw up, if that makes sense. I'm suppose to follow the path and not ruffle feathers. Do everything in the right order. I thought I might get disowned the one time I broke off the path (and in the process broke up with my then to be future husband). But they all accepted it, no one in my family talked about it, but they accepted it in silence.

9. I use to daydream that instead of just taking a detour off the path, I actually lept off it. In that I daydream I had run away. Got in my car and just drove without telling anyone and started a new life in the middle of nowhere.. preferably where country music is very popular. Now I'm happy that I didn't because I love where my life has ended up.

10. In junior high a boy accidentally spit in my hair. Well I assume it was an accident to hit me as he apologized on his own but he did spit off the stairwell on purpose. To make it worse, he was the cutest boy in 8th grade and his locker was 2 down from mine so it was an endless reminder.


hmmm interesting 10 items and very random... like was there even an outline in my head for this? Based on reading it now, I don't think so.