Work as a mistress sucks, because she is all TAKE and no give. Treat it more like a trophy wife.... ask for forgiveness not permission

I have this friend... we'll call him Charlie. Charlie is a good friend, maybe my best guy friend. And Charlie is a nice guy. But Charlie has a problem..... Charlie has stopped living or as RJ says

"would be better if Charlie stopped being a little girl and just went. He’ll regret not going but I can tell you what he is thinking, it’s easier to just say no to the vacation, that way his life is more streamlined and easier (also known as boring). "

So what caused this insightful comment?


Well RJ, my bff and I are planning a fab vacation for my bff and my 30th bdays. We tossed around a lot of ideas and decided on one that includes lots of drinking, walking and eating. And the location is somewhere that Charlie has always wanted to go to... so we invite Charlie.

First Charlie sounds so excited but not even 24 hours later, after I have planned and priced the entire vacation; yes I'm that good!; Charlie is backing out.


Is Charlie backing out because he has started to date someone and thinks she might get upset?

No. (NOTE: they are barely dating and its too early to invite her and its just friends plus RJ said he's share a room with Charlie whily bff and I share a separate room, so this wouldn't be an excuse anyway)



Is Charlie backing out because he is worried about his crush on my bff?

No. (Again, see note above, no excuse either way)



Is Charlie backing out because of a set work deadline?

No.

So WHY is Charlie backing out?

Because there is a CHANCE that his major deal MAY have a deadline during 3 weeks that our trip falls into the beginning of....



Anyone else flabergasted. Anyone else thinking what I said to him which is as follows and included more than a few WTFs



I started off nice "you cannot let work run everything in your life. Half the time you tell me you want to quit. you could come with us if you don't work there"



I started going with the cliches "no one's tombstone says i wish i worked more. you've given everything for work for almost a decade. you can't get a measly week"

I started getting forceful "can you imagine if you pass up this vacation and that deadline doesn't become a reality? besides they could move the deadline or cover for you"

then I got angry "it happens all the time just not to you because they know you'll take their sh*t."

then I tried nicer "And I want you to stick up for yourself for once and put yourself first, you have always wanted to go on this vacation. the opportunity is here. all you have to do is pay for yourself, the planning will be taken care of. If you look back on this in 10 years, will you regret not going?"

then I made my last point... which ended up my second to last point "my last point..... you will regret this. at some point, you have to come before work. if you quit tomorrow, they would still get through the deadline so why can't you go on vaca. you have seen it yourself, everyone is replaceable. the replacement may not be as great but it will get done. do you really want your career to be at a place that consistently has NO VACA weeks during the calendar and in this case its a 3 week span without a set deadline.. come on! if you tell your boss that its important n he can't back you up, is that someone you want to continue to kill yourself for?"

Then I made my last ditch effort and pulled out all the stops

"It is my opinion that you will regret missing this vacation and you need to take it. you deserve to take it. and you are being an idiot if you let work stand in your way. Work as a mistress sucks, because she is all TAKE and no give. Treat it more like a trophy wife.... ask for forgiveness not permission, its easier to get- book the damn trip."

Update: I call him Charlie as in Brown... what do you think happened?