Twitter

Hi All... I'm so sorry for the delay in posting but in my own defense, y'all aren't posting comments so I'm not sure anyone is missing my blogs anyway.

But alas, another reason that I have fallen behind is due to the ability to tweet my feelings/stories so quickly and able to go right back to work or in my case tonight, resting my poor stomach!

So I'm taking a hint from my current fave author and expanding on my tweets!!!

"@mrskutcher - I know u get a lot of these but ? for the females.. dumb celeb diet ads on FB n web, do they have 2 ask b4 use celeb picture??"

Demi Moore replied to my tweet! Which is nice because I really wanted to know if celebs approved being in those acai diet ads. Those ads are targeted at young girls and even almost 30 year old woman, like me! And I don't appreciate it because even smart women, yes like me again!, have down days when we can fall victim to the BS. So now I want to remind everyone... celebrities are PAID to look good, its their job.

"to all the ladies - yes u should b healthy n exercise but remember, celebs job is too look good. u'd workout hrs/day for that kinda $ too"

Any celeb (or average person) who says they don't eat right or workout is LYING... either that or they puke; check out their teeth and shape of their mouth - I kid you not! I love food too much to be anorexic and I hate throwing up (sob every time) too much to be bulimic. So I'm just me... battling with weight but doing it the right way.


"ugh so today was aggravating. was in excel hell. plus female cowrkr is not a team playr, blog about this l8r luckily good beats evil again!"

So at my still somewhat new job, our group moved so we can all sit together. None of us work together, at all, but one person - Big B - decided we should all sit together for connectivity. I liked my seat where I was, even though I didn't have an office. Big B has an office... but she is the same level as my coworker Mrs. Nice and I. See she says she lucked into that office... so now that she is insisting the whole team move for connectivity and teaming, shouldn't we all start on an even playing field? So I ask the Boss what the new seating is like and she says "Big B has an office and you & Mrs. Nice have the end cubes" aka the crap cubes, smaller than our current cubes and terrible location. So I say "If you are going to give 1 of 3 managers an office, I think it should be transparent as to why... its one thing for 1 of 3 managers to luck into an office but its another thing to make that conscious decision when we move". Boss thanks me, says she didn't think of it that way and says Big B told her she needs an office for her job responsibilities. I point out that we have a shared conference room for those items and that all the mgrs have similiar job responsibilities. Boss says she'll talk to Big B. I say I will too because I don't do passive aggressive or politics. I talk to Big B who totally doesn't care about the team at all... in fact the only person benefiting from our move is the Sr mgr (who by the way, could have taken Big B's existing office bc Sr mgrs are allowed them)... everyone else gets a crappier cube and Big B gets to keep her office. Well let me tell you, good conquers evil, team players win, you can get ahead withOUT stepping on other people and Karma my friends is a Bitch. Boss decides we should rotate or draw name, Big B doesn't want to draw name... so Boss pulls names out of bag for office rotation---> TheQueen is pulled first, then Mrs. Nice & finally the BigB. She has to wait 8 months until she gets the office... Karma baby!

"I'm taking deep breaths to try to drown out negative petty almost 31 year old females who honestly need to grow the F up"

So the Big B was being so hostile on the day of our move that finally today, we had to put it all on the table. So we did and I think its improved our working relationship... as she said "we won't be linking arms skipping out of here today but we probably wouldn't do that ever anyway"... she got the last part right because while I'm a drama queen, I'm no Big B either!

Other tweets that I need to explain:
"if take kids 2 temple/houseofworship, do u let them run wild @ service? Give kids somethn quiet to do-ok crawling under my seat, not so much"
RJ & I went to our first shabbat service followed by shabbat potluck dinner.... wtf with the kids! Catholics may be too judgemental but they sure as hell know how to control kids in church; the glass room if your kid is a screamer or sitting still in pews if they know how to be quiet.

"question: 2 ppl work for same co. 1 has 8 yr exp n solid skill set. Other has 12 yrs exp but not as wide skill set. Who should get promoted?"
I submitted a self nomination for a position that I'm very qualified for and should have been hired into.. not to mention I was told I could be considered as soon as there was another opening AND that I was one of a few people to be considered! Now I'm being told my application won't be looked at because I only have 8 years experience. Um hello, I can still be as or more qualified as someone with 10, 12 or even 20. Needless to say, I'm not taking this laying down and I have a meeting with the BIG BOSS who also hired me and made the statements noted earlier.


"so citi won't refi w lower rates unless u have hardship n cant pay mortgage; so again resp ppl who pay bills are being penalized pls explain"

This one is so aggravating, I can't even start right now. I also direct messaged PrezObama on twitter asking him to look into this blatant discrimination and penalization of responsible people. F'n Bullshit.

fortune cookie

yummy.. we had chinese take out tonight - fabulous sezchuan chicken, double pan fried noodles and pork fried rice for RJ.... topped off with fortune cookies which are my favorite!





So I open my fortune cookie awaiting the concise poignant direction that usually brings comfort or at a minimum humor and here is what it said.....

NOTHING

My fortune cookie was empty! I looked at RJ, "Is it bad luck"

RJ laughs, interrupts and says "no honey, its probably the down economy, they can't afford to put a fortune in every cookie"

I laugh and finish my question "to eat the fortune cookie with no fortune?"

Then as I ate the last morsel of my cookie I wondered.... is it a symbol of the economy....nothing is certain so how can a fortune be given?

So what do you know about this girl?

Ok so as mentioned, I went shopping with my friend Charlie for a bday gift for a girl he has been dating since early December. We were both working from our respective homes yesterday and I was tired of work from being in the midwest this week and dealing with irritating people (see separate blog) plus I got home at like 2am so needless to say, I wasn't feeling work. On Thursday from the midwest airport, I emailed CBrown "lets play hookey tomorrow afternoon and grab lunch and hang out" to which he replied "It could happen"... ok you know I had a response to that!!!

"Could happen? U r so lame. Its a good thing I like being ur go to friend for all things fun. I will call u in the am. Even if we go later than lunch and you bring ur bberry. You know it'd be more fun to get her a gift if I'm there to contribute ideas."

And contribute ideas, I did! I think in the end he spent too much money but after the hassle that is shopping with him, it was worth it. We had a great time and I earned my mini burger, fries and black cherry soda for which he treated!

So we are at lunch and I'm asking him questions about her and I'm giving the typical girl ideas (perfume, earrings - no ring, no necklace- too early on, a small bag) and he says.... mmm maybe a season of Private Practice or some girlie show. I go "um do you like this girl or not?" thats such a blase gift. Then he goes, "I just don't know". So I say, "what does she like?" and he says "thats the problem, I don't know her". Um ok... what! So by this point we are walking through the mall and I gesture to a store "well you could pick a bunch of random crap and put it into a gift basket for her, thats kind of the go to for guys who don't have a clue" he starts laughing bc I hit the nail on the head --> the store, Bath&Body!

We make our way to the directory, on the way we see a women doing that fast walk but I'm not running shuffle across the mall, he looks at me silently portraying 'what?' and without skipping a beat I say "She's in a rush, there's a big sale!". He doubles over laughing. I start scanning the directory and give my top 3 gift ideas:
- Ipod: She has one but I explain he could give her a small one for travel or working out
- Digital Camera: Lots of reasonably priced ones
- Perfume
We head towards Apple store and on the way pass a 'make your own soap' store and it smells god awful, Charlie says "mmm yeah I could buy perfume that ends up smelling like that when its put on and I'll be gagging all the time"... dork! On the way, we see brookstone, I like brookstone for idea generating and take him through some things: keychain digital picture viewer maybe or I teased he could get her a personal massager (yeah you all know what those look like!!). We stop so he can try out the back massager (this one is legit) that RJ & I bought his mom for holidays, Charlie almost bought one.. I had to peel him off the chair! And that is when I saw it... the digital photo frame! Why didn't I think of this sooner? I've bought 2 ppl this for a gift. Charlie loves it but I tell him we can get it cheaper at best buy so off we go.

Best Buy is not in the mall so we have to find our way back to the car which at the Nordstrom garage at Natick mall, it was like that Seinfeld episode!!!

After finally finding the car, it almost came to hitting the panic button, and getting the frame, we headed to target for gift bag and card. I start pointing to girlie gift bags
CBrown "Um, I would NEVER pick that bag"

Hello! its not for you, its for her. Whatever, we finally agree to a bag that still has some pink but is closer to what he might have picked if I wasn't there. Let me tell you miss thang (no nickname for her unless she lasts 6 months... but funny side story, she is younger so I got a lot of jokes in about potential gifts at toys r us or build a bear--- ha I kill myself. Best was when he said "I could just call my sister, they are the same age" and I say "Or you could just give her a gift bag full of $ and tell her its what you get all the 25 yr olds in your life" btw he always gives his sis $... he almost pushed me after that one but I saw the smile!), you can thank me for the good gift bag!! Ok so we have the bag now we need a card. I try to think like a guy.. I pick some basic cards... he vetos them all. He finally finds one and he is SOOOO proud. I read it, its good but then I look at the inside of the cover after I finish reading.....

"Insert Gift Card"

I laugh and show him. 10 mins more of searching and he says "whatever thats the best card" and grabs it.... me "guess you could just say you didn't see it and she'll think ur so adorably helpless"

I did get a little push but I also got treated to gummy bears and we all know Target has the BEST gummy bears.

All in all, a great afternoon!

I'm a lazy __fill in the blank______

Yay! Fill in the blank fun..... with my version, you can fill a blank in with 2-3 words

I'm a lazy _______. I haven't posted any blogs lately because I had to __________. I definitely have stories to share that include women being _________, flying high on ________, running into celebs like _____________ in the most unlikely places and of course me being a _________ ___________.


Seriously, I'd love for anyone to fill in the blanks so I feel like someone reads the blog besides my bff. Post a comment and on Monday, I'll fill it in for the real story. In the meantime, I will post some stuff today/tomorrow about....

- Shopping with Charlie Brown for a bday gift for a girl he's been dating for oh 3 months or so
- Cliques at work on teams but these cliques just do NOT make sense
- My hair... ahhhhh... my hair is in need ppl... its almost to the point of a meltdown
- The economy... no I can't solve it, I'm going to blog about the ppl on twitter who think they can

Off to _________ and potentially _________ so I'll be posting soon. have a great saturday!

Short and Sweet... nothing like me

Ok so I know that my blog yesterday was overwhelming... far too long and so many links. I went a little blog happy. As restitution, this blog with be short and sweet which is nothing like me...



well I am short but I'm not that sweet. I'm direct and to the point and while I care deeply for humankind (I always care about the underdog and I couldn't make fun of someone for something they can't control), I can't help but comment on what I see and/or think (i.e. I can and will make fun of something that you can control)



Case in point... last night, I had my first class. There were 40 people there. Mainly couples, ok exaggerating, about 50% couples, 30% single/blood related and 20% in a relationship but there other half wasn't there. I was in the 20% and I was ok with that because RJ and I discussed it in advance, he paid for the class and we talk about it when I get home. However there was one instance where I wished he was there so I could say something just above a whisper in hopes that the offender would hear and apply some deoderant or move seats....

"Man, somebody is sweating whatever they ate for dinner tonight!"

Ugh! but I had no one to say it too. So instead I investigated. Was it the breath of the guy next to me? Don't think so. Was it the well dressed woman across from me? No she is in retail at Saks and dresses impecably. Was it the average looking girl behind me? Nothing against average girls.. I'm pretty average. Then it happened... the potential smelly breath guy knows the average girl and he says

"Hey, we went to BGood for dinner. What did you guys do?" note: BGood is a healthier version of fast food

She replies "We went to fgdguyhfmg (incomprehensable) King"



That is it. My face lit up. You are the smelly culprit and you are sweating that ethnic grub that you ate. Nothing against ethnic grub.. I love thai, asian, italian, mexican. I don't care if you like the bizzare foods along with AZ... but consider your surroundings when you eat certain foods; we were in a TINY room. She reeked all class. I couldn't turn in her direction (see earlier post on my sensitive nose) UNTIL...

I contributed in class. Hello, it costs $300 and its an intellectual class and I had a well researched, valid question. And that smelly bitch shakes her head at my question as if it was the dumbest thing ever. Oooh how my head snapped in her direction as I caught the little shake in my peripheral view. And I breathed in and thought



'F you.. your pores reek of something unholy. I mean people ask stupid questions in these classes and I hold judgement bc its a religious class and I'm trying to be good while here... you would think she could hold her snooty attitude until class was over. Not to mention, it was a valid question about the temple in Jerusaleum and the Messianic Age... well thought out.'



But since RJ wasn't there and I couldn't say anything, I gave her the nice smile that says I will f**k your shit up if you judge me again. And I swear, I saw her try to stop her pores from leaking any more smelliness and she cowered just a little.



Thats right... you better bow down. I will end you. At some point, you will say something, contribute to class and in the most sincere seeming way, I will make a different point even if I don't agree with it just to put you in your place and make you recognize.



Go enjoy stinking up your clothes and having everyone on the T look around til they realize its YOU who smells like a backed up garbage disposal in a highschool cooking class after Around the World day

Three strikes, you're out

So who knew the episode?

You probably know it as the Three Strikes episode based on this exchange between Penny & Sheldon after she eats an onion ring and sits in his seat, which he tells her was her 3rd strike:

Sheldon: "It's a sports metaphor."

Penny: "A sports metaphor?"

Sheldon: "Yes, baseball."

So this got me to thinking... what would be 3 biggest offenses someone could do to me to be ousted from my inner circle? would i agree with Sheldon's first strike related to Penny sending him junk emails (forwards)? to be honest, I have 3 email addresses plus the blog. I give one email to my PopPop to which he sends forwards and jokes. I give one for bills, subscriptions, registrations, friends and then my work email. So this isn't a huge problem for me, so no that strike didn't make it for me. Do I care about a particular seat? Not really but to be honest, no one would take my seat. Where Sheldon is a wimpy guy, I'm a very direct gal and typically people know what I want and give it to me... RJ would say its easier than listening to me although he challenges me quite often!

Here are some things that I would call strikes:

- Monolpolizing a conference call with chit chat or complaining. I can whine with the best of them but we have an agenda to get through. As I said to someone the other day, can she put her grown up pants on and get it done already

- Being passive aggressive. If you have a problem with me; professionally or personally, "suit up" and tell me already. If you can't then my advice is to go find the person who is holding your balls, beg for them to be returned and call me when they are reattached and you're ready to deal.

- Cab drivers who feel the need to chat with me my entire ride (thanks to sassytwosocks for her tweet that reminded me of this annoying bullshit). Also, cab drivers who say they accept ccs and then their piece of shit machines don't work and I'm left scrambling for an atm and trying to make my flight!

- Skinny bitches who claim they don't exercise, eat whatever they want, don't throw up but they are almost 30 or older. Stop f'n lying; metabolism slows down. Either your idea of eating whatever you want is different than the average person, you do work out or you puke and you know it. I especially love when said bitches have those mouths that just shout, I puke!

- People who say they don't watch tv and look down on those who do... listen, I like books.. actually I love reading. And I like hanging with my friends but sometimes there is nothing better than mindless time in front of the boob tube. Not to mention there is some great tv our there in addition to the mind numbing television.

I mean if you have a sense of humor and you've never enjoyed The Big Bang Theory or How I met your Mother

Or you like food and you've never seen Guy Fieri Triple D & Anthony Bourdain No Reservations.. I'm seriously considering a whole post on suggestions for Triple D (everyone loves greasy or comfort food or both at least once in their adult life)

Or you like mystery and staring at my TV husband check out Fringe

note he is not my tv husband when he does the klingon thing with his forehead

Or you like outdoorsy stuff and learning, check out Mark & Olly

Oh and if you pay for premium channels like me, then you have to

love Entourage, Big Love, Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I'm even a little into the United States of Tara

Or hell if you like making fun of idiots, you need to check out Property Virgins (this couple was especially irritating!) or My First Place (they get a room done as a prize for being idiots; come on! this is encouraging these morons).... these people are so dumb that they make RJ angry most of the time

**Ok point made, maybe I need a separate post just to tell you the shows I like and why. Back to the strikes -->

- People who judge... listen up aholes; you haven't walked in my shoes... you want to make fun for something silly I did or said, one of my many falls or embarassing moment; go ahead. But don't judge me or anyone else for that matter. "First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you don't know me"

* Anyone know that quote? If so, you know my guilty tv pleasure

- Incompetent Baggers

- People who expect to be applauded for just showing up... ooh did you wipe your own ass today too... see the above comment about wearing your big girl pants.. in these people's cases, I don't care if they want the reassurance so they wear depends.. I'm not going to coddle you

Whoa... way more than 3. I could have kept going. But I won't. I have to get back to the grind. Feel free to comment with your own strikes, I'd love to hear them and they give me inspiration for my own tirades! And I overloaded you with links, I'll cut that down next time... I went a little nuts!

btw, the actual episode title is "The panty pinata polarization"

And if you were wondering, there is no kryptonite for THE Queen of Drama Queens and if there were, it definitely wouldn't be calling my mommy on me

Tidbit Numero Uno

Ok as promised, I am creating my first Tidbit blog... a tidbit o' creativity... a tidbit o' entertainment... a tidbit o' WTF.... at a minimum it will entertain just me... at a middle ground it will make you smile and ponder the tidbit awhile... at a maximum my tidbits will earn me national recognition and a regular spot on the Chelsea Handler roundtable....

And yes that was my tidbits not my tatas for you dirty minded folks who read between the letters rather than the lines, that will earn me my 15 minutes of fame.

and we're off...

Last night RJ and I met the boxer and her Mighty Duck for drinks, apps and trivia. There was a guy at the bar who came over to me after one of the questions and asked if we knew the answer to the question and I said that we didn't but we'd come up with something creative. Well the guy leans in and whispers in my ear "Scrimshaw" (10 pts to the person who comments jeopardy style what the question could have been) and I say thanks, write it down and go to turn it in. When I return, the guy is having a very animated discussion with RJ about the next question (3 bones in the arm) and I'm hoping RJ won't break his for whispering so seductively in my ear earlier (kidding, it wasn't seductive but every once in awhile, I like to channel my inner JD and daydream how the situation could play out). Ok so the guy eventually goes back to the bar and Boxer says "What was up with that dude? He's married (sidebar, I didn't even look for the ring and that don't mean he wasn't all over DQs ass, alright!) and he's at the bar alone and desperate to play trivia with us."

Now a small part of me that is trying to be a nicer person said "maybe he is new here" but boxer and even RJ were like "why not bring your wife". Mighty Duck was rather quiet on the topic but to his credit, the bruins were on tv and if you haven't guessed, hockey is kind of his thing. So my question is....

What type of married guy goes to a bar by himself on a Sunday night and why? No he wasn't from out of town travelling on business
Maybe his wife is a weirdo who throws oscar parties where they do brackets for the winners and he has no friends (he seemed normal but then again so did the steven king look alike sitting behind RJ but then his crazy eyes started freaking me out)

So what do you think?

btw, no prize for us; we came in 4th. speaking of the Oscars and my latest tweet on twitter- I have fallen in love with Ashton Kutcher through his endearing tweets on twitter and by affiliation with his unfairly gorgeous wife Demi for her equal tweeting. And Ashton posted from their party like a regular old joe and I just dig that. I have forgiven Ashton for that hideous movie where he married Britney Murphy and he is welcome to tweet with me any day.

Again with the dirty minds.. tweet = instant message on twitter

Keep those dirty minds fresh for tomorrow's tidbit and btw if tweet meant anything but instant message, I'd be telling Joshua Jackson tweet me baby

how difficult is your F*N job?

Seriously, WTF! I go grocery shopping every week just like your average american. I don't use reusable grocery bags yet.. I know, I know! Can you hold your judgement and just let me vent for a bit? I do use a re-usable bag for my trips to the library and I pass on bags when making small purchases at CVS etc and I reuse my plastic grocery bags as trash bags rather than buy trash bags... so see I'm not so bad.

Now can we get back to the people who are bad? The idiots who bag groceries. What the F happened to the teens in this world? I have had a job since I was 12... yes 12! And I've been doing chores (serious chores, the laundry for the entire family) since 7 (yes 2nd grade people, I traipsed down to the basement and washed and folded the entire family's laundry- to this day, I hate folding! I'm scarred). So what happened? Its not hard to bag groceries. As a child, I bagged the groceries for my mom when we shopped (there were no dedicated baggers then). And it was common sense... Common sense people! So are we not teaching common sense in school? Are we too busy prepping for standardized tests that we aren't teaching basic skills that can be applied to all kinds of situations INCLUDING your afterschool job bagging groceries???

Every week, I dread the checkout line. RJ and I typically go grocery shopping together and at first, he thought I was too hard on the baggers. Don't worry- I don't say anything to them, I wait until we pass through the door to the fresh air and then my rant begins. Although, this week, I almost HAD to say something. And in the past few weeks, RJ has come to my side of the fence on the great "Are these baggers F'N morons?" debate.

And based on google search results, I'm guessing either many of you agree with me OR the baggers are actually trying to improve. HA- sha right! It is not the baggers trying to improve... kids these days, hell college graduates these days are not looking to self improve, they want the answer handed to them... a trophy awarded just for showing up. Well listen up dumbasses; that is not how the world works. I'm gonna give you a trophy alright, a trophy of my middle finger that I'll shove up your butt for you. Ugh!!!!! Sorry, so back to google.. the google search bar auto completes "how to bag groceries" and "how to bag groceries properly"- there are 634,000 and 277,000 results respectively. I'm contemplating creating my own "Grocery Bagging for Dumbasses who will never progress past bagger let alone HS" but to be more efficient, I might take the best of the search results, print them out and just start leaving them near the bagging area of the check out lanes.

I'm gonna lose it! One of the search results is a powerpoint presentation for a gaming simulation to teach people to bag groceries properly. Great lets sit the future of our obese country in front of a computer screen to learn something so freaking basic. Something they could learn by DOING and receiving feedback from a qualified manager... that is a post for another day.

I mean how freaking difficult is it to bag boxes together... to keep eggs safe from breaking.... to keep bread on the top NOT the bottom of bags. And you want to know what makes this even more pathetic?? I ORGANIZE my groceries on the checkout belt in ORDER of bagging. I hold bread, eggs, soft veggies/fruit at the far end of the belt and then I organize the boxes, jars, cans, soda in the EXACT order of how they SHOULD be bagged. And then I watch. And regardless of my streamlined efforts, obtained through years of experience and honing of my organization on the belt... I mean a bystander who has NEVER grocery shopped before might think I have OCD but anyone who has grocery shopped regularly would smile inside and give a little positive mojo my way, hoping my efforts pay off. Especially if they are behind me in line because if it works for me then there is hope for them. HOPE not a guarantee because the bagger could switch between customers or just go back to their lazy ass ways.

Ok so my groceries are organized on the belt. All the bagger needs to do is put them in the bags in the ORDER in which they come off the belt. But NO. This week RJ watched the bagger... I looked away in hopes that I wouldn't jinx it and because I was so close to yelling out WTF- step away I'll bag my own groceries. And what did RJ see? The bagger put the frozen boxes together, yes a small triumph for shoppers everywhere. But then she puts bags of craisins in the same bag.. ok no big deal with the bag doesn't break, we are ok. But then there are more frozen foods coming down the belt and the bagger looks lost. The bagger takes out boxes from the frozen box and craisin bag and replaces the box with the new frozen box... this in and out swap continues for 2 minutes. Thank goodness I was not watching. Then she puts cleaning products in with fruit, RJ reaches in and seamlessly corrects this mishap. I hear all of this and more after the fact as we walk out of the store and I see bread under the cereal boxes and frozen peas. I huff, reach in, take the bread out, try to reshape it and shake my head... I look at RJ with my WTF face and he says "Don't even F***ing get me started!"

FYI- RJ does NOT swear.

I wait a few minutes and ask him what happened.. that is how I learn of what he saw and why I decide to find these sites to print for my next trip to the grocery store. Maybe I can offer a free training class!

This is the best one: 7 quick steps that are so Common Sense that it is a sad, sad day for the world that I'll need to actually print this and tape it to baggers stations. Is this a worldwide problem or a US epidemic of lacking intelligence?

Oh my gosh, there is hope.. 3 months ago, someone looked to self improve through yahoo answers

And in wisconsin in 2008 they held a best bagger contest with pdf for rules and tips. Another pdf recommended you size up your customer to ensure bags are not too heavy which might improve your chances of getting a tip.

A TIP... A TIP...I'm not tipping you for doing your F'N job.... do we need to revisit the freaking trophy? pull it out your ass, look at it, say "oh yeah, I forgot she covered this already", stick it back in there and go back to your daily life.

Coming Soon: Tidbits

Ok so I know I have not been a consistent blogger and this fact along with my blog being anonymous along with only my bff knowing it is hurting my chances of obtaining followers and I've always wanted followers... I am a very charismatic public speaker which makes up for my inability to be humble and this charisma really could start a cult with the largest following in history... and don't worry, I'd never make it a suicide cult- I'm afraid of death - if anything, I'd find a way so grape koolaid made us live forever.

Sorry, I got off topic again. Anywho, I decided to try to be a more consistent blogger to see if that helps increase my followers (ok this idea of you pledging allegiance to me as your Queen might scare you away as well so how about I'll say audience from now on.. look I'm negotiating and typically the queen does NOT negotiate)...

Ok so to increase my audience, I'm starting Tidbits... I will post a Tidbit or 2 each weekday and that will give you something to muse about all day and may potentially cause unexpected laughing to yourself or at a minimum smirking as you continue to think about these tidbits throughout the day. Perhaps these tidbits will even entice (see still trying, I wanted to say convince or force) you to post a comment in response to the blog.

At a minimum, the tidbit will get me posting more regularly and in a few less words. I'd say this could help my audience but I don't want dumbasses who think reading is a chore as part of my kingdom- instead of no shoes no service, my kingdom's walls will be plastered with things like "If you can't read big words, we will excommunicate you (and I'm not talking church here)" and I'll have guards at the wall watching people and if they take too long to sound out words in their head or look lost or move their lips as they read... they are outta here! Ohh I got side tracked again, regardless.... be on the lookout for tidbits, coming soon direct to your laptop for your weekday enjoyment.

Here are some images that make me think of the tidbits of enjoyment that I'll be providing to you, every weekday

Can you guess the movie?

Can you guess the episode?

What does this look like to you?

Honestly, this is the best quote ever and if you can't read that fine print then drool until its tidbit time!

I need my own little nuggest... not sure Chewy's role on the show anymore and I have a former friend who was petrified of those who are vertically challenged, maybe Chewy, the Rolloffs and the whole Lollipop gang could pay her a visit.... mwahahaha

PS If you are a true member of the blog audience then you know that last bit was my evil laugh... maybe instead of an evil laugh I'll use this going forward, it sure scares the bejeebs out of me

Women actually propose?

Ok so my last post title, "He said Yes!" got me thinking... do women actually propose? I've seen it on tv shows. I've read about it in magazines. My coworker teases me that its ok to do it. But I would never do it.

Now don't get all pissy at me. Remember I'm someone who has a lot of opinions and I share them freely. But I respect your right to have opinions too.

Foreshadow: This will definitely end up a future post.

I'll tease and make fun to support my opinion but I can take the return teasing so you can support your opinion - bring it on! Interestingly enough, I actually said I love you to RJ first. And I was pissed at myself for doing it. It slipped. I had wanted to say it for awhile and we had been dating exclusively for a year. And then of course after it slipped, I immediately yelled Don't say it back! Because of course then I'd always wonder if he meant it. He said it a short time later and more importantly he shows it and proves it on a very regular basis. But for a little while after saying it first, I was mad at myself because women are insecure creatures and this act of going out on a limb could result in always wondering. Lucky for me, RJ is a great bf and he truly loves me and shows me so I don't need to wonder.

In the meantime, enjoy the images of women proposing and tell me, would you do it?

Seriously, the sister of the esurance chick would not propose? Especially not the sister who has money and designer labels!

Maybe this chick would propose but look at her bf, all aloof. yeah ok, this is not the guy or the way to propose. this dude is thinking about it. like weighing the probability as to whether he could meet someone hotter. The sign should say "Get lost, loser!"

I just don't think... no I know that I would not propose... its not for me. I want a guy to do it because he loves me enough to want to, not because he feels obligated or I push him. I loved that part of He's just not that into you (SPOILER ALERT- don't go past the picture)

when Ben Affleck proposed to Jennifer Aniston.. even though it was so obvious that even RJ & Charlie could see it coming (yes we dragged them.. well actually we dragged RJ but Charlie wanted to see it), it was just exactly what a proposal should be... simple, honest, heartfelt - something to build on. Not a cheesy restaurant proposal that is fit for a 22-26 year old bc thats what the movies taught you. Real love, real life proposals are simple and meaningful not overdone - overdone is like a man driving a ferari bc his manly package can't deliver the way the car does... a true love story doesn't need the big showy proposal, at least not in my fairy tale.

PS Examples of RJ showing me he loves me without having to say it:

- Waiting in the hospital for 3 hours while I had an exploratory procedure even though the nurse told him he could go home and they would call him (note we live 5 mins from this hospital)

- Bringing me candy when he returns from travelling

- Sharing his prized gummy bears with me even after I already finished my own candy and did not share

- Decorating christmas cookies with me and putting on a christmas cd even though its not his thing

- Buying and picking up pizza for my bff and I without a complaint

- Putting up with my passenger seat comments

- Busting a move in the car with me and singing along with my tone deaf self

There is way more but I don't want to make anyone vindictive jealous so I'll space these out.

He said yes!!

No I did not propose to RJ. My friend CBrown (not chris, I wouldn't be friends with an alleged woman beater; I'm talking about C to H to A to R to L to I to E... what's that spell?

CHARLIE

And not O'Connell either- poor guy got the short end in that family. He probably grew up thinking chunky Jerry would get the acting but he would get the looks. Not so much C-dawg.

Sorry, I got distracted. Ok so back to my friend Charlie.... its really a code name of course. Everyone in my blog gets a code name. My friends don't even know about the blog... well bff does (come on that means my best friend forever) but no one else. So far in the blog we have:

RJ (sometimes BF) - my boyfriend and no those aren't his initials

BFF - she is the best and we are such good friends that I can call her out for trying to take the best 2 slices of the remaining 4 cheese pizza slices.

S1 - My middle sister (I'm the oldest)

Sis 2 - My youngest sister

my friend - she needs a codename so I'm working on it... maybe Rocky because we box together

Charlie - My guy friend who is just too nice sometimes and occassionally lets work and exes walk all over him. But I'm here to remind him that he deserves better so that brings us back to He Said YES!

To vacation! We are going. California isn't just for happy cows anymore... its now for RJ, BFF, Charlie and I to rock out and make some kick ass memories.

Truth be told... bff and RJ were convinced that I could get Charlie to say yes and I am quite a good debater and I typically always get my way... if you made me give a percentage I'd say 90% of the time I end up getting my way and the other 10% I didn't really care but made you think I do so you'd feel better giving in 90% of the time... mwhahaha (thats my evil blog laugh!)

PS As for vaca, I will photograph and video journal it all... it will be so cool to watch in 30 years!